@ur.gurl.laylaaa

Ok so basically this is a really long story so basically when I was 11 in grade 6 me and my family moved into a new place and there was a security guard and like everyday when I came back from school he'd say I could play with his phone cuz I really didn't like to go home right away, so I said sure and like...uh.. he asked me to sit on his lap while I was playing games on his phone ,I didn't mind, guys I was eleven I really didn't know what actually wrong or right was, so he'd touch my thighs alot and kiss my neck and I didn't really like it but I didn't do anything about it i was stupid ik and I was already dealing with a lot along with getting bullied at school and my mother hitting me 24/7...then the next year he got fired and I dunno for what but I was happy he did then grade 7 wasn't bad I still got bullied here and there but I just shut my brain to 'stop caring and everything will be fine' and for the most part it worked but It got Into habit and I started doing it alot and lost a friend in the process which got me into harming myself and wanting to delete myself from humanity but we got back along which was good for me but I became cautious of everything I did so I wouldn't make anymore mistakes, then in 8th grade everything came crumbling down, so there were new security guards being hired and they were all nice except for one he'd always call me words like 'hey beautiful' , 'hi cutie' and it made me want to vomit he was 25 and I'm 13 and when I told him my age he said age was just a number and he said we could Date in secret and do some stuff and no one had to know and I honestly wanted to unalive myself I had the courage to tell him no and to f#ck off and then he left me alone and I was grateful for that , but then at school..my class there's this guy who I thought was my friend but his actions said otherwise he'd touch my thighs and he asked me if he could feel the fabric of my jersey on my chest and then I told him no but then he kept on pestering me and I said OK, I'm sorry guys the pressure was too much and I'm generally a stupid person, and he touched me inappropriately and I was so disguted in myself for letting that happen and in my transport as well there's this 16 year old and another 14 year old who always touched me but again I didn't do shi...I never told my friends because I thought they'd turn against me and bully me like what happened in grade 6, and in grade 4 when I got inappropriately touched by my elder cousin and I really didn't want that to happen again , then I just avoided the topic completely then one day my aunt got really sick and we went to this guy who could foretell stuff and he said that my aunt was gonna be ok and he told me that I was gonna get 🍇ped and I thought back to all the time I got touched and I lost all hope and I slowly began to hate men, guys I'm on the verge of going lesbian cuz I can't with guys anymore, then instead of support or comforting, my mum joked about it and then when we got home she shouted at me saying 'if you get pregnant I'll kick you out off my house' and so on , and everytime I do something wrong she brings it up and says 'I hope you get 🍇ped and they unalive you afterwards'... then after a while my mum decided to renovate our bathroom so for the 1st few days the men were eyeing me and I felt so uncomfortable then one of them asked me for my number and I lied and my phone was broken then I cried so hard in my room after that because what the heck do you want with a child's number?!, and what I've realized is that whenever some guy calls me beautiful or pretty they don't mean ME they mean MY BODY I get watched by men whenever I go, I get sexualised by my family and strangers, I want a new body an ugly one so no one will even spare me a glance but then again another risk of getting bullied...that's why I do gacha to forget about these things and just vent sometimes thanks for reading ik I'm stupid and disgusting but I'll try be better💔 #vent #fypシ

On the profile · Dec 19, 2025